Reality TV is a sign of the impending doom of civilization; any society where “Jersey Shore,” “Toddlers and Tiaras,” and “My Redneck Vacation” are hits can’t survive for long. Still, I figure I might as well jump on the bandwagon and make a boatload of money as long as civilization is still standing.
So here’s my idea for a new reality show: “Apple Shark Tank.” Developers pitch their ideas for hardware or software products of all sorts to a panel of Apple execs. Sitting on the panel would be Tim Cook, Scott Forstall, Phil Schiller and Jonny Ive. Andy Ihnakto or David Pogue would fill a Ryan Seacrest-type role of ringleader.
Contestants have three minutes to pitch their idea to the Apple exec panel complete with mock-ups, specifics on the app/hardware specs, and reasons why Apple should fund their idea. Winning ideas would become the property of Apple with the idea originators getting a cut of sales.
Think you’ve got a game of “Angry Birds” potential? Bring it to the “Apple Shark Tank.” You’ve figured out the secret to the iCar, which runs on H20 and gets 1,000 miles a gallon? Come on down. Developed a plan to bring the power of the Mac Pro to the wearable iRing (complete with holographic display and keyboard)? Present it on this show.
Laugh if you will. But “Apple Shark Factory” has much more potential than “Dancing with iOS Developers,” “Kourtney and Kim Take Cupertino,” or “Kate Plus OS X 8.” Just remember: I get a producer’s credit (and salary) for coming up with this brilliant idea.
— Dennis Sellers