Greg's Bite: Lickable below the Surface
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Greg's Bite: Lickable below the Surface

By Greg Mills

The Microsoft drums are pounding again for the Surface iPad wannabe. Feeling a bit stupid this morning, I went to the Microsoft/store online and poked around.  What I found was so Microsoft. It seems nothing changes at Redmond.

First of all, many of the article sI have read touting the Surface tablet are written by people living under a rock, who have never seen or experienced a real iPad. One awestruck writer was amazed at a tablet cover that attached to the Surface tablet with tiny but strong magnets. Now there is an original idea. Who says Microsoft doesn't innovate?  

Secondly, I found it interesting that Microsoft priced the Surface tablet at price points identical to similarly configured iPads. This is to insinuate some degree of equality with Apple's products. I think they are touting more RAM without admitting the reason they have to pump the memory.  The new Windows Mobile OS and Office apps are such memory hogs they have to add RAM to keep the tablet from crashing.

Humor also comes from the extreme reaching for advantages by the engineers behind the Surface tablet. One engineer claimed the screen resolution was superior to the new iPad since they had clearer font software. One engineer at Redmond claimed the Surface tablet was superior to iPad as the weight distribution of parts inside the Surface tablet was more evenly spaced to make the tablet more balanced.  I am not kidding. Those are good reason to go out and buy a Surface tablet?

The expensive software that runs on Surface is a going to be a product killer. Shop the software for Surface first before dropping a wad on what is likely to the the Kin smartphone or Zune of tablets. Compare the software available for the late-to-the-party Surface tablet launch and think hard before spending your money.   

Simply wanting to imitate Apple, no matter how much money you throw at the project. does not mean the effort will be successful. Consider the RIM, Sony, HP and other stabs at denting the iPad. Consider the price people paid for the now obsolete junk sitting a drawer somewhere. There is more to killing the iPad than anyone has been able to accomplish, so far. Can Microsoft do it? I doubt it.

The historical position of Microsoft that a useful keyboard is not possible with a touch screen continues to hamper the thought process there. While they have a touch screen keyboard, they push a $100 add-on physical keyboard that uses BlueTooth to interface with the tablet. Duh, I bought a BlueTooth keyboard for iPad a couple of years ago and never use it.

Finally, the fruity colors of the keyboard/covers sold to work Surface have a secret function. You know, the colorful covers with the innovate magnetic attachment to the Microsoft tablet have a patented flavor baked into the plastic. Tiny capsules of fruit flavored resin make the Surface covers lickable! A Google search of the word "lickable" will bring up articles about the new Microsoft Surface tablet -- or, in images, a picture of Steve Balmer licking a Surface tablet.

Wow, Microsoft sure knows how to market their innovation. I bet Apple's management team is loosing a lot of sleep over the Surface tablet threat to iPad.  

That is Greg's Bite.


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