The Northern Spy: A conversation between Nellie and the professor
TweetFollow Us on Twitter

The Northern Spy: A conversation between Nellie and the professor

By Rick Sutcliffe

Even before I heard the boots clunk on the table behind me I didn't need to turn around to know who'd dropped in.

Some people carry an unmistakable air about them. Besides, regular people knock, even though the door's always open. Not Nellie Hacker. She, BTW for the new reader, helped me found this column back in the day. Well, at least she doesn't wear spurs.

"Hi, Nellie. It's been a while since you popped by to see your old professor."

"Does it really matter?"

"It matters to me. It gets lonely here sometimes."

"Yer Calculus students either know they know too much, or don't know quite enough to know what they don't know, eh? What'ya working on?"

"My latest novel, Book One of The Throne. It's called Culmanic Parts. Just finished in fact and ready for some proofreader friends to look at it."

"That alternate history Christian SF stuff you write? Does it really matter?"

"Hey, Nellie, those who don't understand history, who don't get how choices in ethics, governance, and technology affect society..."

"...are doomed to repeat the same old mistrakes, and your alternate history is a way of sussing out the substance of the real thing. Yeah, I remember the mantra.

I can't imagine many people read your stuff. It's too christian for the hardcore SF fans, and to SF for most Christians.

True, but I enjoy writing it nonetheless. Besides, my book six of The Interregnum called The Builder that came out last spring is now available around the net and ought to be in paper soon.

What time period does the new one cover?

"Alternate Ireland's eleventh to early fifteenth centuries, the founding of the throne through the scientific revolution to the tall ship era."

"Romance?"

"Enough, but not so much as to fence your range." I grinned. If there was anything Nellie detested it was romance novels.

"But unless you've changed a passel, no juvenile so-called 'adult' trash. What about technology?"

"Lots of industrial products. Ireland's tall ships have laser gun sights, and her navy develops breech loading rifled brass guns firing conical shells loaded with high explosives."

"Computers?"

"Not till the seventeenth century. Got the Suez canal in the fifteenth though."

"Battles?"

"Trafalgar in 1439 between Ireland and Spain, and Waterloo in 1441 between Ireland's allies and France's despot king."

"Sounds alternate enough all right. Email me a copy and I'll have a go."

I saved my file and turned around. Predictably, she was helping herself to the apples I'd brought from my home orchard to give my students (Northern Spys, don't you know) while sipping on a can of pop.

"Thanks for the root beer. Nice of you to keep some in the lab fridge, though you never did anything like that for the students when I was a lablet."

I frowned. "Lab's supposed to be locked."

"It was."

"High security electronic key."

She looked at me like I was an idiot, and I recalled the first time I met Nellie Hacker, when she planted her feet on my table like that, then announced out of the blue, "I can break into any computer in the world." Must have been circa three decades back. I'd believed her then, so had to assume that to her a door lock not only wasn't a challenge, it might as well not be there.

She stretched herself out and snatched up a printout from the table by her feet.

"This some of your research?"

"Yup. Working with a colleague on a new programming language."

"Anybody I know?"

"Doubt it. Name's Benjamin Kowarsch. He currently lives in France, works in Switzerland. Says he met me once in Germany or Austria, but I don't remember. Brilliant fellow."

"Modula-2 release ten." She flipped through the EBNF definition. "More like a dialect of an old one."

"Got some new features, though."

She summarized from her scan. "Blurring the lines between the built-in and the definable abstract data types. Translating macro hooks for I/O so every ADT can define its own. Prototypes for the built-ins so they can be changed. Even an interface into the compiler. Still has a simple syntax and semantics. Interfaces with other languages well. A few other goodies like generics. Looks powerful. No OO, but it scarcely needs it with modules this powerful. Got interesting possibilities. I'll write you a compiler when you're done. Be a nice little project." She tossed the printout back to the table, looking disinterested and sulky.

"You seem out of sorts, Nellie, if I may reuse a joke from the data structures and algorithms course."

"Thought all that math-related stuff was a waste back then, but I admit I use it every day now," she conceded, then adding, "Nah. I'm bummed about all the union stuff."

"What union?"

"At work. Some of the part-time boys in tech support are disgruntled with the boss, approached a union to organize them."

"Surely that doesn't affect you."

"They included us in the bargaining unit for the petition to the labour relations folks. Hardly any of us signed cards, but they still got their forty-five percent from the whole lot so there hasta be a hearing."

"Software engineers in a union? No more thirty-six hour days without overtime followed by two month vacations?"

"The model just don't fit us. It's the antithesis of agile programming. Imagine seniority as criterion for promoting a code slinger. Might as well do it for NHL hockey players. Gordie Howe would still be in there elbowing callow youth out of his way. Not that there's hockey these days because of their own union-management troubles, both sides wanting to run things their way. As if it mattered."

I had a mental picture of Nellie, locked out in a labour dispute and peddling her skills over in Europe for the duration. 'Course in her case, she'd likely make more money, not less. "Surely people get that unions, for all their usefulness in the industrial workplace, simply don't fit a white collar professional model."

"I know. Makes about as much sense as you professors being in a union, don't it? Our joint'll probably go broke, and I'll have to find a new job. Waste of time when I could be slinging code. There are better ways, sure as shooting."

I decided to change the subject, see if I could raise her out of her funk. "I see where Microsoft released Windows 8 this past week."

"Does it really matter?"

"Explicate your reasoning."

"I and just about every professional code bender I know produce apps for mobile platforms. Desktop systems are yesterday's news."

"W-eight runs on mobiles."

"That may be the only thing it has going for it, but I can't see it catching on with hoi polloi so we professionals aren't likely to be developing in it. Boss wants to, but word on the street is Windows is a corpse, just doesn't know it's kicked the bit bucket yet. Boss goes that way, the company's done for a different reason. A version eight is hurtin' late, has a sealed fate."

"That bad?"

"Can't see Microsoft or any of the PC desktop makers still being around in any way that matters five years out. 'Course, half a decade's too long term to say anything in this business."

"What about the new MS tablet?"

"Apple already had the MS Swiss clock cleaned. The iPad Mini may not be revolutionary tech, but it kills dead chances of somebody else muscling in to their market." She pointed the pop can at me. "There is no tablet market. There's only the iPad market. The Mini is just a niche filler in case anybody looked to get uppity, not important for its own sake. But it'll sell big time."

"Android?"

"Cheap imitation. Sells hardware well, but no one's writing apps for it, so no staying power. iCookie down Cupertino way has got nothin' to worry about from it."

"Not even the lawsuits?"

"Nah. Like all wars, they'll get tired of shooting at each other eventually and make up. Only people the better off when the gunsmoke clears will be the lawyers. Customer pays in the end. Ain't that exactly why in your novels it's a capital offense to practice law for money?"

"Hey. You remember some of what you used to type for me." I got back on track. "What do you suppose Apple's next big thing is then?"

"Maybe TV, maybe something radical for pros like me. Does it really matter? They'll sell millions anyway, and the cheap no-good imitations will be as half-baked as always, maybe worse. Apart from Cupertino, the hardware innovation scene's a dismal boot hill these days."

"The changes in their executive suite notwithstanding?"

"How can they matter, except to create a buying opportunity in Apple shares?"

My first sally having failed to raise her spirits, I tried another tack. "Any comments for my reader on the big election down south this month?"

"In the excited states? Does it really matter?"

"Why would it not?"

"All my models say it's a spang-on tie. Worst possible outcome."

"How so?"

"'Cause after the two sides finish beating each other to a pulp and divvy up the presidency, house, and senate two for one and one to the other, they won't be able to get a lick of governing done, and the economy's like to go into the toilet again. Whole trouble with elections like these, with both parties spitting in each others' faces instead of debating ideas, and promising a moon they know they can't hog tie and deliver, is they forget they got a country to run, whoever gets in. Dead tie means dead government. Any business run that way would be coffined in a year, three months if it was in tech. Be a durn sight better if one or the other outfit won clean and big."

"Which side?"

"Does it really matter? Governing is governing. Most of the time, it works best if the cardboard dummies who think they're running the show just stay out of the way of the wealth and job creators. That ain't like to happen nohow."

"You never did have a high opinion of government did you?"

Ignoring this, she polished off my can of pop, then made an enquiry of her own. "How's enrollment these days. I hear tell the university went through some tough times for a while."

"That we did, especially in computing. Fortunately there was enough flexibility around here to downsize the school to match the lower enrollment, or we'd have gone broke ourselves and all been out on the street. However, things are looking up. Last spring I signed up eight new math majors, and in the three days since next spring's signup started, I already have twenty-four people wanting Senior Geometry. Most ever by a long shot."

She grimaced, and I recalled that Nellie only took math when she had to. "Does it really matter? I mean, really. How relevant is anything Euclidian these days."

"As relevant as the non-Euclidian. Hey, Nellie. People have to learn logic somehow, and the various geometries offer one good way. What was it you always used to say about new programmers who couldn't logic their way out of a wet paper bag?"

She reprised almost absent-mindedly. "'You can lead your daughter to Horace but you can't make her think.' All right, point taken. Guess the visual learners could use some mental organizing, too. But I was more interested in the computing enrollment."

"Picking up. The 03-08 crash seems to be over, and first-year classes are almost back to where they were before that. Pretty soon we'll have enough for a full slate of upper level courses again. Other universities are experiencing the same thing." I turned her own question on her. "Does it really matter?"

She chucked her apple core past me and cleanly past my legs through the narrowest of windows and right into the wastebasket under my desk, spat a seed after it, then steepled her hands under her chin."When Twentieth Century Software Associates does go under either fer being hidebound by nonsensical workplace rules or fer pursuing the irrelevant, me and a few of the boys and girls are pondering starting our own company. Lousy economy as it be, there's still bags of money in writing apps for retail chains wanting a mobile online presence, custom security work, or decent point-of-sale software--as long as you're agile and quick.

"You'd be the president of course."

She looked askance. "'Not! I'd hire some dweeby business grad fer that. I don't do admin, accounting, installs, or tech support any more'n I do windows. I design and make stuff that matters, well at least that matters somewhat fer the time being. Did write a Bible reader app not long ago." She brightened. "We did a bang up job on that one. Now, that matters for a sight more than just the short term."

"Too bad you don't get more projects like that. Well, I don't do admin myself any more either. Stiffed others with all that."

"Good move. Yer well out of it."

"Planning to take on any other hands besides your initial crew?" I smiled to myself as I found myself falling into Nellie's wild west cow hand gunslinger patterns of speech. But, she had a point, whether she realized it or not. Today's high tech landscape does resembles those times, and Nellie is what they would have termed a fast-drawing top hand--on the right side of the law.

She got down to her real business. "We'd like to hire maybe twenty fresh-faced developer deputy wannabees over a two year span, train them up into becoming the real thing, and cash in big time on the low-hanging fruit in the commercial marketplace. That'll give us the freedom and finances to do stuff that does matter."

"Why recruit here?"

"At a Christian Liberal Arts University? Surprised you’d even ask. Your grads have depth, breadth, substance, versatility, and integrity to boot. They ain't any more hackers than I, never no mind my moniker." Nellie was educated--or I once more or less thought so--but she got even more slangy than usual when either feeling strongly about something or talking about herself.

"What's your timeframe? Given we're just getting our major in computing science re-established, it'll be another two or three years before we can supply that many to one company."

"Short term we incorporate, get our business plan up, find a few small contracts we can do on the side, keep working where we are till things fall apart there and we gotta move on--say medium term six months. Long term we work up the plan, find some venture capital and try on some midsize projects, bring in co-op students and interns from your seniors, make sure our systems are good to go. That takes us out maybe eighteen months plus. Very long term follows that, when we ramp up big time -- say two to three years."

"Why hire so many brand new grads?"

"After the dot com bust, and university enrollments dried up, eventually so did the supply of workers. Pretty hard to get any good hands these days, impossible if we ask for experience punchin' codes. Tell them we'll offer a signing bonus, plenty of perks."

"You're telling me now because…"

"Want first dibs when you got people again. Can't round them all up here, we'll hire from other schools, too. But yours graduate with more important stuff in their heads, and more code under their belts. I oughta know. That matters."

She slid her high leather boots off my table, got to her feet, and stuffed her hands in her jeans. That's about it, old boss. See you around one of these times. I gotta go rustle up some grub."

"Hey, Nellie, thanks for writing my column for me. It's been like old times."

But by that time she was already gone.

-- The Northern Spy

Opinions expressed here are entirely the author's own, and no endorsement is implied by any community or organization to which he may be attached. Rick Sutcliffe, (a.k.a. The Northern Spy) is professor and chair of Computing Science and Mathematics at Canada's Trinity Western University. He has been involved as a member or consultant with the boards of several organizations, including in the corporate sector, and participated in industry standards at the national and international level.

He is a long time technology author and has written two textbooks and six novels, one named best ePublished SF novel for 2003. His columns have appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers (paper and online), and he's a regular speaker at churches, schools, academic meetings, and conferences. He and his wife Joyce have lived in the Aldergrove/Bradner area of BC since 1972.

Want to discuss this and other Northern Spy columns? Surf on over to ArjayBB.com. Participate and you could win free web hosting from the WebNameHost.net subsidiary of Arjay Web Services. Rick Sutcliffe's fiction can be purchased in various eBook formats from Fictionwise, and in dead tree form from Amazon's Booksurge.

URLs for Rick Sutcliffe's Arjay Enterprises:

The Northern Spy Home Page: http://www.TheNorthernSpy.com
opundo : http://opundo.com
Sheaves Christian Resources : http://sheaves.org
WebNameHost : http://www.WebNameHost.net
WebNameSource : http://www.WebNameSource.net
nameman : http://nameman.net
General URLs for Rick Sutcliffe's Books:
Author Site: http://www.arjay.ca
Publisher's Site: http://www.writers-exchange.com/Richard-Sutcliffe.html

URLs for some items mentioned in this column

Modula-2 Release ten: https://bitbucket.org/trijezdci/m2r10/src/

 
AAPL
$467.36
Apple Inc.
+12.91
MSFT
$32.87
Microsoft Corpora
+0.17
GOOG
$885.51
Google Inc.
-4.90

MacTech Search:
Community Search:

Software Updates via MacUpdate

Acorn 4.1 - Bitmap image editor. (Demo)
Acorn is a new image editor built with one goal in mind - simplicity. Fast, easy, and fluid, Acorn provides the options you'll need without any overhead. Acorn feels right, and won't drain your bank... Read more
Mellel 3.2.3 - Powerful word processor w...
Mellel is the leading word processor for OS X, and has been widely considered the industry standard since its inception. Mellel focuses on writers and scholars for technical writing and multilingual... Read more
Iridient Developer 2.2 - Powerful image...
Iridient Developer (was RAW Developer) is a powerful image conversion application designed specifically for OS X. Iridient Developer gives advanced photographers total control over every aspect of... Read more
Delicious Library 3.1.2 - Import, browse...
Delicious Library allows you to import, browse, and share all your books, movies, music, and video games with Delicious Library. Run your very own library from your home or office using our... Read more
Epson Printer Drivers for OS X 2.15 - Fo...
Epson Printer Drivers includes the latest printing and scanning software for OS X 10.6, 10.7, and 10.8. Click here for a list of supported Epson printers and scanners.OS X 10.6 or laterDownload Now Read more
Freeway Pro 6.1.0 - Drag-and-drop Web de...
Freeway Pro lets you build websites with speed and precision... without writing a line of code! With it's user-oriented drag-and-drop interface, Freeway Pro helps you piece together the website of... Read more
Transmission 2.82 - Popular BitTorrent c...
Transmission is a fast, easy and free multi-platform BitTorrent client. Transmission sets initial preferences so things "Just Work", while advanced features like watch directories, bad peer blocking... Read more
Google Earth Web Plug-in 7.1.1.1888 - Em...
Google Earth Plug-in and its JavaScript API let you embed Google Earth, a true 3D digital globe, into your Web pages. Using the API you can draw markers and lines, drape images over the terrain, add... Read more
Google Earth 7.1.1.1888 - View and contr...
Google Earth gives you a wealth of imagery and geographic information. Explore destinations like Maui and Paris, or browse content from Wikipedia, National Geographic, and more. Google Earth... Read more
SMARTReporter 3.1.1 - Hard drive pre-fai...
SMARTReporter is an application that can warn you of some hard disk drive failures before they actually happen! It does so by periodically polling the S.M.A.R.T. status of your hard disk drive. S.M.... Read more

Strategy & Tactics: World War II Upd...
Strategy & Tactics: World War II Update Adds Two New Scenarios Posted by Andrew Stevens on August 12th, 2013 [ permalink ] Universal App - Designed for iPhone and iPad | Read more »
Expenses Planner Review
Expenses Planner Review By Angela LaFollette on August 12th, 2013 Our Rating: :: PLAIN AND SIMPLEUniversal App - Designed for iPhone and iPad Expenses Planner keeps track of future bills through due date reminders, and it also... | Read more »
Kinesis: Strategy in Motion Brings An Ad...
Kinesis: Strategy in Motion Brings An Adaptation Of The Classic Strategic Board Game To iOS Posted by Andrew Stevens on August 12th, 2013 [ | Read more »
Z-Man Games Creates New Studio, Will Bri...
Z-Man Games Creates New Studio, Will Bring A Digital Version of Pandemic! | Read more »
Minutely Review
Minutely Review By Jennifer Allen on August 12th, 2013 Our Rating: :: CROWDSOURCING WEATHERiPhone App - Designed for the iPhone, compatible with the iPad Work together to track proper weather conditions no matter what area of the... | Read more »
10tons Discuss Publishing Fantasy Hack n...
Recently announced, Trouserheart looks like quite the quirky, DeathSpank-style fantasy action game. Notably, it’s a game that is being published by established Finnish games studio, 10tons and developed by similarly established and Finnish firm,... | Read more »
Boat Watch Lets You Track Ships From Por...
Boat Watch Lets You Track Ships From Port To Port Posted by Andrew Stevens on August 12th, 2013 [ permalink ] Universal App - Designed for iPhone and iPad | Read more »
Expenses Review
Expenses Review By Ruairi O'Gallchoir on August 12th, 2013 Our Rating: :: STUNNINGiPhone App - Designed for the iPhone, compatible with the iPad Although focussing primarily on expenses, Expenses still manages to make tracking... | Read more »
teggle is Gameplay Made Simple, has Play...
teggle is Gameplay Made Simple, has Players Swiping for High Scores Posted by Andrew Stevens on August 12th, 2013 [ permalink ] | Read more »
How To: Manage iCloud Settings
iCloud, much like life, is a scary and often unknowable thing that doesn’t always work the way it should. But much like life, if you know the little things and tweaks, you can make it work much better for you. I think that’s how life works, anyway.... | Read more »

Price Scanner via MacPrices.net

13″ 2.5GHz MacBook Pro on sale for $150 off M...
B&H Photo has the 13″ 2.5GHz MacBook Pro on sale for $1049.95 including free shipping. Their price is $150 off MSRP plus NY sales tax only. B&H will include free copies of Parallels Desktop... Read more
iPod touch (refurbished) available for up to...
The Apple Store is now offering a full line of Apple Certified Refurbished 2012 iPod touches for up to $70 off MSRP. Apple’s one-year warranty is included with each model, and shipping is free: -... Read more
27″ Apple Display (refurbished) available for...
The Apple Store has Apple Certified Refurbished 27″ Thunderbolt Displays available for $799 including free shipping. That’s $200 off the cost of new models. Read more
Apple TV (refurbished) now available for only...
The Apple Store has Apple Certified Refurbished 2012 Apple TVs now available for $75 including free shipping. That’s $24 off the cost of new models. Apple’s one-year warranty is standard. Read more
AnandTech Reviews 2013 MacBook Air (11-inch)...
AnandTech is never the first out with Apple new product reviews, but I’m always interested in reading their detailed, in-depth analyses of Macs and iDevices. AnandTech’s Vivek Gowri bought and tried... Read more
iPad, Tab, Nexus, Surface, And Kindle Fire: W...
VentureBeat’s John Koetsier says: The iPad may have lost the tablet wars to an army of Android tabs, but its still first in peoples hearts. Second place, however, belongs to a somewhat unlikely... Read more
Should You Buy An iPad mini Or An iPad 4?
Macworld UK’s David Price addresses the conundrum of which iPAd to buy? Apple iPad 4, iPad 2, iPad mini? Or hold out for the iPad mini 2 or the iPad 5? Price notes that potential Apple iPad... Read more
iDraw 2.3 A More Economical Alternative To Ad...
If you’re a working graphics pro, you can probably justify paying the stiff monthly rental fee to use Adobe’s Creative Cloud, including the paradigm-setting vector drawing app. Adobe Illustrator. If... Read more
New Documentary By Director Werner Herzog Sho...
Injuring or even killing someone because you were texting while driving is a life-changing experience. There are countless stories of people who took their eyes off the road for a second and ended up... Read more
AppleCare Protection Plans on sale for up to...
B&H Photo has 3-Year AppleCare Warranties on sale for up to $105 off MSRP including free shipping plus NY sales tax only: - Mac Laptops 15″ and Above: $244 $105 off MSRP - Mac Laptops 13″ and... Read more

Jobs Board

Sales Representative - *Apple* Honda - Appl...
APPLE HONDA AUTOMOTIVE CAREER FAIR! NOW HIRING AUTO SALES REPS, AUTO SERVICE BDC REPS & AUTOMOTIVE BILLER! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Apple Honda is offering YOU a Read more
*Apple* Developer Support Advisor - Portugue...
Changing the world is all in a day's work at Apple . If you love innovation, here's your chance to make a career of it. You'll work hard. But the job comes with more than Read more
RBB - *Apple* OS X Platform Engineer - Barc...
RBB - Apple OS X Platform Engineer Ref 63198 Country USA…protected by law. Main Function | The engineering of Apple OS X based solutions, in line with customer and Read more
RBB - Core Software Engineer - Mac Platform (...
RBB - Core Software Engineer - Mac Platform ( Apple OS X) Ref 63199 Country USA City Dallas Business Area Global Technology Contract Type Permanent Estimated publish end Read more
*Apple* Desktop Analyst - Infinity Consultin...
Job Title: Apple Desktop Analyst Location: Yonkers, NY Job Type: Contract to hire Ref No: 13-02843 Date: 2013-07-30 Find other jobs in Yonkers Desktop Analyst The Read more
All contents are Copyright 1984-2011 by Xplain Corporation. All rights reserved. Theme designed by Icreon.