TweetFollow Us on Twitter

Swaine Manor: The Object of Our Affliction

Volume Number: 26
Issue Number: 07
Column Tag: Swaine Manor

Swaine Manor: The Object of Our Affliction

A few facts and non-facts about Objective-C

by Michael Swaine

Objective-C

As the center of the software development universe shifts from computers to mobile devices, many problems and challenges thought to be solved are with us again. As this new/old thing called iOS becomes the center of Apple's software universe, the problem list includes Objective-C. It's the preferred language of iOS app development, inherited from NEXTSTEP along with the NeXT operating system that became Mac OS X and the exile who became the CEO, now woven throughout the fabric of Apple's i-space like some fungal mycelium. Since most of the apps you use will soon be Objective-C-based, I thought I'd share with you a few little-known facts about the preferred language of iPhone development.

Did you know, for example, that its inventor doesn't use it any more? Brad Cox has moved on to XML, Java, Ruby, Python, and Perl (http://virtual-school.edu/cox/).

Did you know that Java was modeled after Objective-C? One of the creators of Java says so (http://web.archive.org/web/20071030010852/http://www.cs.umd.edu/users/seanl/stuff/java-objc.html).

Did you know that the Cocoa framework of 2002 was nearly identical to the NEXTSTEP APIs of 1992? (http://www.linuxjournal.com/article/6009) Let's call that consistency, because it sounds so much nicer than stagnation.

Memes

But what really matters are the memes and jokes. One of the classic memes is, "If Xs were Ys, what kind of y would x be?" Like, "If programming languages were beers, what kind of beer would be language Y be?" OK, so if programming languages were beers, what beer would Objective-C be? The Internet provides an answer (http://lambda-the-ultimate.org/node/3133), as it does is to every question so long as you don't care about the quality of the answer. If Objective-C were a beer, it would be Pabst Blue Ribbon. I have no idea why.

There is an Objective-C version of the Shooting Yourself in the Foot joke (http://burks.bton.ac.uk/burks/language/shoot.htm). You know: "In C, you shoot yourself in the foot. In Concurrent Euclid, you shoot yourself in somebody else's foot. In Pascal, the compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot. In Java, you shoot yourself in the foot and everyone else who accesses your website leaves hobbling and cursing. In Forth, you yourself foot in shoot...." The Objective-C version? "In Objective C, you write a protocol for shooting yourself in the foot so that all people can get shot in their feet." You see the influence on Java, right?

Jozef Dransfield has posted an Objective C Joke of the Day. Apparently just one. Here it is: "Why do they need a garbage collector in Yorkshire? Because they keep calling 'init'!" I can see why the tradition only lasted one day.

There are Objective C versions of the "...is the new..." meme (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_new_black). You know, "Pink is the new black," "Random is the new order (Apple)," "Black is the new President (Tracy Morgan)." Technically, this is a snowclone (http://en.wiki-pedia.org/wiki/Snowclone). A search on "Objective-C is the new..." yields:

Objective-C is the new Java

Objective-C is the new Ruby on Rails

Objective-C is the new HTML

I dutifully report these results, but I don't think any of these people know what "is the new" means.

But I keed. Objective-C is actually a pretty cool language, if a little old, inspired by an even cooler (and older) language, Smalltalk. Anyway, because you always want to leave 'em with something to hum on the way home, there an official Objective-C country song ("Retain My Heart/Or you might point to an invalid memory reference..."), inspired by the inimitable Erica Sadun. Follow the link (http://www.tuaw.com/2010/05/21/rocking-the-objective-c-ountry/) to the audio and sing along.

All together now.


Michael Swaine is the former editor-in-chief of Dr. Dobb's Journal (http://www.ddj.com) and current editor of PragPub (http:// www.pragprog.com/magazine), the electronic magazine for pragmatic programmers. You can reach him at mike@swaine.com.

 

Community Search:
MacTech Search:

Software Updates via MacUpdate

Google Chrome 53.0.2785.143 - Modern and...
Google Chrome is a Web browser by Google, created to be a modern platform for Web pages and applications. It utilizes very fast loading of Web pages and has a V8 engine, which is a custom built... Read more
Chromium 53.0.2785.143 - Fast and stable...
Chromium is an open-source browser project that aims to build a safer, faster, and more stable way for all Internet users to experience the web. Version 53.0.2785.143: [Security Fix] High CVE-2016-... Read more
QuickBooks 2015 16.1.7.1524 R8 - Financi...
Save 20% on QuickBooks Pro for Mac today through this special discount link QuickBooks 2015 helps you manage your business easily and efficiently. Organize your finances all in one place, track... Read more
Sierra Cache Cleaner 11.0.1 - Clear cach...
Sierra Cache Cleaner is an award-winning general purpose tool for macOS X. SCC makes system maintenance simple with an easy point-and-click interface to many macOS X functions. Novice and expert... Read more
Default Folder X 5.0.7 - Enhances Open a...
Default Folder X attaches a toolbar to the right side of the Open and Save dialogs in any OS X-native application. The toolbar gives you fast access to various folders and commands. You just click on... Read more
Safari Technology Preview 10.1 - The new...
Safari Technology Preview contains the most recent additions and improvements to WebKit and the latest advances in Safari web technologies. And once installed, you will receive notifications of... Read more
Tweetbot 2.4.4 - Popular Twitter client.
Tweetbot is a full-featured OS X Twitter client with a lot of personality. Whether it's the meticulously-crafted interface, sounds and animation, or features like multiple timelines and column views... Read more
Google Earth 7.1.7.2602 - View and contr...
Google Earth gives you a wealth of imagery and geographic information. Explore destinations like Maui and Paris, or browse content from Wikipedia, National Geographic, and more. Google Earth combines... Read more
Things 2.8.8 - Elegant personal task man...
Things is a task management solution that helps to organize your tasks in an elegant and intuitive way. Things combines powerful features with simplicity through the use of tags and its intelligent... Read more
Firefox 49.0.1 - Fast, safe Web browser.
Firefox offers a fast, safe Web browsing experience. Browse quickly, securely, and effortlessly. With its industry-leading features, Firefox is the choice of Web development professionals and casual... Read more

Cybird’s latest release - BFB Champions...
Launched in the UK in early September, BFB Champions’ newest update is loaded with great new features, and looks set to outshine the original version by taking it out of soft launch and giving it a new lease of life. | Read more »
3 apps to boost your focus
As someone who works from home, my workspace is a minefield of distraction. Cats, tasty snacks, the wind blowing past my window, that cleaning that I suddenly can’t put off any longer. If I let distraction takes its course, I find that soon half... | Read more »
4 games like Burly Men at Sea to inspire...
Burly Men at Sea is out today and it looks a treat. It tells the tale of three Scandinavian fishermen who leave the humdrum of their daily lives to go exploring. It’s a beautiful folksy story that unfurls as you interact with the environment... | Read more »
3 reasons you need to play Kingdom: New...
Developed by a tag team of indie developers - Thomas "Noio" van den Berg and Marco "Licorice" Bancale - Kingdom is a vibrant medieval fantasy adventure that casts players as a king or queen who must expand their empire by exploring the vasts lands... | Read more »
JoyCity have launched a brand new King o...
Great news for all of you Game of Dice fans out there - JoyCity have just released a brand new limited edition pack with a really cool twist. The premise of Game of Dice is fairly straightforward, asking you to roll dice to navigate your way around... | Read more »
Burly Men at Sea (Games)
Burly Men at Sea 1.0 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $4.99, Version: 1.0 (iTunes) Description: Burly Men at Sea is a folktale about a trio of large, bearded fishermen who step away from the ordinary to seek adventure. | Read more »
3 tips for catching the gnarliest waves...
Like a wave breaking on the shore, Tidal Rider swept its way onto the App Store charts this week settling firmly in the top 10. It’s a one-touch high score-chaser in which you pull surfing stunts while dodging seagulls and collecting coins. The... | Read more »
The beginner's guide to destroying...
Age of Heroes: Conquest is 5th Planet Games’ all new turn-based multiplayer RPG, full of fantasy exploration, guild building, and treasure hunting. It’s pretty user-friendly as far as these games go, but when you really get down to it, you’ll find... | Read more »
Infinite Tanks (Games)
Infinite Tanks 1.0.0 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $4.99, Version: 1.0.0 (iTunes) Description: | Read more »
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders (FULL)...
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders (FULL) 1.0 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $6.99, Version: 1.0 (iTunes) Description: Agatha Christie: The ABC Murders Your weapon is your knowledge. Your wits will be put to the ultimate... | Read more »

Price Scanner via MacPrices.net

Apple refurbished 2015 13-inch MacBook Airs a...
Apple has Certified Refurbished 2015 13″ MacBook Airs available starting at $759. An Apple one-year warranty is included with each MacBook, and shipping is free: - 2015 13″ 1.6GHz/4GB/128GB MacBook... Read more
MacBook Airs on sale for up to $100 off MSRP
B&H Photo has 13″ and 11″ MacBook Airs on sale for up to $100 off MSRP. Shipping is free, and B&H charges NY sales tax only: - 11″ 1.6GHz/128GB MacBook Air: $799 $100 MSRP - 11″ 1.6GHz/256GB... Read more
Apple refurbished 12-inch 128GB iPad Pros ava...
Apple has Certified Refurbished 12″ Apple iPad Pros available for up to $160 off the cost of new iPads. An Apple one-year warranty is included with each model, and shipping is free: - 32GB 12″ iPad... Read more
Phone2Action Unveils New Voter Turnout Techno...
Phone2Action, a leading digital advocacy platform, today launched its Tech to Vote Civic Action Center digital advocacy and communications platform on National Voter Registration Day September 27.... Read more
Apple & Deloitte Team Up to Help Business...
Apple and international professional services firm Deloitte have announced a partnership to help companies quickly and easily transform their workflow dynamics by maximizing the power, ease-of-use,... Read more
Chop Commute – See Traffic and Drive Times on...
Shrewsbury, Massachusetts based Indie developer, InchWest has released Chop Commute 1.61, a Mac app that takes the guesswork out of daily commute by showing real-time traffic and drive times right on... Read more
12-inch 32GB WiFi iPad Pros on sale for $50 o...
B&H Photo has 12″ 32GB WiFi Apple iPad Pros on sale for $50 off MSRP, each including free shipping. B&H charges sales tax in NY only: - 12″ Space Gray 32GB WiFi iPad Pro: $749 $50 off MSRP -... Read more
Recent price drops on refurbished iPad minis...
Apple recently dropped prices on several Certified Refurbished iPad mini 4s and 2s as well as iPad Air 2s. An Apple one-year warranty is included with each model, and shipping is free: - 16GB iPad... Read more
Apple refurbished Mac minis available startin...
Apple has Certified Refurbished Mac minis available starting at $419. Apple’s one-year warranty is included with each mini, and shipping is free: - 1.4GHz Mac mini: $419 $80 off MSRP - 2.6GHz Mac... Read more
13-inch 2.5GHz MacBook Pro available for $928...
Overstock has the 13″ 2.5GHz MacBook Pro available for $927.99 including free shipping. Their price is $171 off MSRP. Read more

Jobs Board

*Apple* Retail - Multiple Positions (US) - A...
Sales Specialist - Retail Customer Service and Sales Transform Apple Store visitors into loyal Apple customers. When customers enter the store, you're also the Read more
Restaurant Manager (Neighborhood Captain) - A...
…in every aspect of daily operation. WHY YOU'LL LIKE IT: You'll be the Big Apple . You'll solve problems. You'll get to show your ability to handle the stress and Read more
*Apple* Wireless Lead - T-ROC - The Retail O...
…wealth of knowledge in wireless sales and activations to the Beautiful and NEW APPLE Experience store within MACYS.. THIS role, APPLE Wireless Lead, isbrandnewas Read more
Lead *Apple* Advocate - T-ROC - The Retail...
…Company, is proud of its unprecedented relationship with our partner and client, APPLE ,in bringing amazing" APPLE ADVOCATES"to "non" Apple store locations. Read more
*Apple* Advocate - T-ROC - The Retail Outsou...
…Company, is proud of its unprecedented relationship with our partner and client, APPLE ,in bringing amazing" APPLE ADVOCATES"to "non" Apple store locations. Read more
All contents are Copyright 1984-2011 by Xplain Corporation. All rights reserved. Theme designed by Icreon.