TweetFollow Us on Twitter

September 93 - VIEW FROM THE LEDGE



[IMAGE 115-116_View_From_Ledge_r1.GIF]

The brain trust that makes up the heart, soul, and spleen ofdevelop recently got together to have a few beers, pat each other on the back in a team-building-while-not-being-too-aggressive way, and just generally -- as Albert Einstein once said -- "figure it all out."

Two interesting things came out of the meeting. First, it's very difficult to pat each other on the back in a team-building-while-not-being-too-aggressive way after you've had a couple of beers; and second,develop has a serious flaw. A flaw as wide, as gaping, and as socially repugnant as the space between Alfred E. Neuman's teeth.

As by now I'm sure you've discovered,develop is thebest source for "how to" articles on Apple technology. It's the literary equivalent of an overprotective older brother in a strange neighborhood. Yet all those back issues ofdevelop , combined with that big stack of CDs you save but never use, are doing nothing to help you survive in the day-to-day workplace. You may be able to write C++ in your sleep, but it's not going to do you any good if you don't know socially important things like who your company's CEO is or the finer points of water cooler etiquette. The raw philanthropic nature of this journal, combined with the necessity to fill a couple of extra pages, compels us to offer some useful office survival tips along with the gripping technical articlesdevelop has always delivered.

From this point forward for eternity (or until I'm fired, or until the hate mail reaches unbearable levels), I'll be your tour guide through the political jungle of the modern office. Like any good companion, I'll be pointing out the nasty baboons from the safety of our digital van, helping you step around the virtual guano while we roam the electronic terra firma, bellowing at you when you try to feed your little sister to the lions, and pretending to know what I'm talking about when I don't have a clue.

To offer the ultimate in customer service, and to provide snappy repartee, I'll be answering questions sent in by inquisitive readers and hand-picked by our crack staff. Rest assured your questions will be held in the utmost confidence, unless they have good blackmail potential. Everyone "fortunate" enough to have their questions printed will receive an incredibly cheap, yet heartwarmingly collectible, gift. Interestingly enough, questions arrived even before this column was announced. Leaks are everywhere, I guess.

Dear Tao,

As a product manager at a major U.S. software company, I often find myself losing in negotiations with my colleagues for our company's internal resources. I always go into meetings prepared and well rehearsed, and I always come out with less than I'd hoped for.

The situation is growing desperate. I have yet to be promoted, and I'm afraid I'll need to call in the loans I've made to my children so I can pay off my BMW.

Please help,

Distressed in Denver

Dear Distressed,

You say you're a product manager yet you got your point across in fewer than ten pages. My guess is you're being too direct with people in the workplace. A rule of thumb: When dealing with people in the workplace, never be direct.

There are several disadvantages to saying what's on your mind. One is that people will know what you're thinking. If you're dealing with someone who isn't direct, they'll automatically have an edge on you; they'll know what you know, but not vice versa. If you're dealing with someone who is truly malevolent -- the kind of person who bites the heads off marshmallow bunnies before eating the rest, or worse, someone who wears suspenders -- your directness can be very detrimental to what you're trying to accomplish.

As you've already learned, being direct can be especially harmful when dealing with management. Let's say you have some idea that you present honestly and forthrightly to your boss. When your boss responds with, "It basically seems like a good idea; let's see if we can work something out," what this really means is you're heading straight into a nightmare commonly referred to as "negotiation." This is bad news in a big way, because Boss School has taught your manager to (1) verbally whittle your idea into a headless monstrosity doomed for failure, and then (2) either take credit for your superhuman struggles in making the plan succeed or, more likely, crucify you mercilessly for failure.

Just like everything else in the '90s, the answer to your problem lies in a combination of inner awareness, macrobiotic diets, shaky mutual funds, and self-help. Not being direct will seem unnatural at first, so I give you this as your homework: Put a marble on a table. Study it closely until you really begin to understand what that marble is all about. Then, for the next half hour, describe the marble without using the words "round" or "sphere." Once you think you've got it, ask some friends in and describe the marble to them. If they have no idea what you're talking about, you'll know that you're well on your way to honing one of the most important of your office survival skills.

As for calling in those loans from your children: Mom, Itold you that I'd pay you back when I got a chance.

Dear Tao,

I have an employee who is perpetually late and always uses the excuse "my dog got loose." I've always been a bit suspicious, and upon checking I discovered that he doesn't even own a dog! What should I do?

Sign me,


Dear Flea,

As a manager you're probably already aware that chronic lateness is usually only a symptom of some bigger underlying problem. Situations like this are sensitive, extremely volatile, and prone to disaster if not handled by properly trained professionals.

First, you should make a detailed accountin writing of all the incidents as they happen. Then call both the local animal shelter and the police department, stating that you believe one of your employees is running an illegal dog-racing operation. Don't forget to mention that you think it's likely your underling will "do something" (make sure to use that exact phrase) with the dogs if he finds out that the authorities are after him. As you watch events unfold, it may seem like a painful and arduous process. But believe me, once it's all over, your employee will be so choked with emotion that he won't be able to find the words to thank you.


  • Gojiro by Mark Jacobson. The auto biography of everyone's favorite Japanese monster.
  • Cool Tricks by John Javna. It's high time you learned how to tie balloon animals, isn't it?
  • Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo. Play it loud, and when your boss comes in, say "It's symbolic."

TAO JONES is the pen name of an Apple employee so afraid of speaking directly that he can't even get up the nerve to introduce himself here.*

Tao Index: In the computing industry, people who refer to themselves as "guru" or "wizard" usually aren't. *

Tao would like to thank Sarcasmo for rewriting most of this column without trying to claim authorship, Cindy Jasper and Caroline Rose for their unnerving faith, and Mr. and Mrs. Jones for his existence. *

Tao needs questions to keep from dropping into a nasty blue funk. Please send them to AppleLink DEVELOP. *


Community Search:
MacTech Search:

Software Updates via MacUpdate

DEVONthink Pro 2.9.6 - Knowledge base, i...
DEVONthink Pro is your essential assistant for today's world, where almost everything is digital. From shopping receipts to important research papers, your life often fills your hard drive in the... Read more
Safari Technology Preview 10.1 - The new...
Safari Technology Preview contains the most recent additions and improvements to WebKit and the latest advances in Safari web technologies. And once installed, you will receive notifications of... Read more
VueScan 9.5.60 - Scanner software with a...
VueScan is a scanning program that works with most high-quality flatbed and film scanners to produce scans that have excellent color fidelity and color balance. VueScan is easy to use, and has... Read more
Civilization VI 1.0.0 - Next iteration o...
Sid Meier’s Civilization VI is the next entry in the popular Civilization franchise. Originally created by legendary game designer Sid Meier, Civilization is a strategy game in which you attempt to... Read more
Adobe Flash Player - Plug-in...
Adobe Flash Player is a cross-platform, browser-based application runtime that provides uncompromised viewing of expressive applications, content, and videos across browsers and operating systems.... Read more
RestoreMeNot 2.0.4 - Disable window rest...
RestoreMeNot provides a simple way to disable the window restoration for individual applications so that you can fine-tune this behavior to suit your needs. Please note that RestoreMeNot is designed... Read more
Persecond 1.0.7 - Timelapse video made e...
Persecond is the easy, fun way to create a beautiful timelapse video. Import an image sequence from any camera, trim the length of your video, adjust the speed and playback direction, and you’re done... Read more
iShowU Instant 1.1.0 - Full-featured scr...
iShowU Instant gives you real-time screen recording like you've never seen before! It is the fastest, most feature-filled real-time screen capture tool from shinywhitebox yet. All of the features you... Read more
Spotify - Stream music, creat...
Spotify is a streaming music service that gives you on-demand access to millions of songs. Whether you like driving rock, silky R&B, or grandiose classical music, Spotify's massive catalogue puts... Read more
HoudahSpot 4.2.6 - Advanced file-search...
HoudahSpot is a powerful file search tool. Use HoudahSpot to locate hard-to-find files and keep frequently used files within reach. HoudahSpot will immediately feel familiar. It works just the way... Read more

Latest Forum Discussions

See All

The Forgotten Room (Games)
The Forgotten Room 1.0.1 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $1.99, Version: 1.0.1 (iTunes) Description: Play as paranormal investigator John “Buster of Ghosts” Murr as he explores yet another mysteriously creepy house. This... | Read more »
5 Halloween mobile games for wimps
If you're anything like me, horror games are a great way to have nightly nightmares for the next decade or three. They're off limits, but perhaps you want to get in on the Halloween celebrations in some way. Fortunately not all Halloween themed... | Read more »
The 5 scariest mobile games
It's the most wonderful time of the year for people who enjoy scaring themselves silly with haunted houses, movies, video games, and what have you. Mobile might not be the first platform you'd turn to for quality scares, but rest assured there are... | Read more »
Lifeline: Flatline (Games)
Lifeline: Flatline 1.0.0 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $2.99, Version: 1.0.0 (iTunes) Description: The Lifeline series takes a terrifying turn in this interactive horror experience. Every decision you make could help... | Read more »
Game of Dice is now available on Faceboo...
After celebrating its anniversary in style with a brand new update, there’s even more excitement in store for Game of Dice has after just being launched on Facebook Gameroom. A relatively new platform, Facebook Gameroom has been designed for PC... | Read more »
4 addictive clicker games like Best Fien...
Clickers are passive games that take advantage of basic human psychology to suck you in, and they're totally unashamed of that. As long as you're aware that this game has been created to take hold of your brain and leave you perfectly content to... | Read more »
Smile Inc. Guide: How not to die on the...
As if Mondays weren't bad enough, at Smile Inc. you have to deal with giant killer donuts, massive hungry staplers, and blasting zones. It's not exactly a happy, thriving work environment. In fact, you'll be lucky to survive the nine to five.... | Read more »
Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator (Games)
Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator 1.0 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $1.99, Version: 1.0 (iTunes) Description: | Read more »
WitchSpring2 (Games)
WitchSpring2 1.27 Device: iOS Universal Category: Games Price: $3.99, Version: 1.27 (iTunes) Description: This is the story of Luna, the Moonlight Witch as she sets out into the world. This is a sequel to Witch Spring. Witch Spring 2... | Read more »
4 popular apps getting a Halloween makeo...
'Tis the season for all things spooky. So much, so, in fact, that even apps are getting into the spirt of things, dressing up in costume and spreading jack o' lanterns all about the place. These updates bring frightening new character skins, scary... | Read more »

Price Scanner via

Worldwide Smartphone Shipments Up 1.0% Year o...
According to preliminary results from the International Data Corporation (IDC) Worldwide Quarterly Mobile Phone Tracker, vendors shipped a total of 362.9 million smartphones worldwide in the third... Read more
TuneBand Arm Band For iPhone 7 and 7 Plus Rel...
Grantwood Technology has added the TuneBand for iPhone 7 and 7 Plus to its smartphone armband series. The TuneBand provides a lightweight and comfortable way to wear the iPhone while running,... Read more
1.4GHz Mac mini on sale for $449, save $50
Adorama has the 1.4GHz Mac mini on sale for $50 off MSRP including free shipping plus NY & NJ sales tax only: - 1.4GHz Mac mini (Apple sku# MGEM2LL/A): $449 $50 off MSRP To purchase a mini at... Read more
21-inch 1.6GHz iMac on sale for $999, save $1...
B&H has the 21″ 1.6GHz Apple iMac on sale for $999 including free shipping plus NY sales tax only. Their price is $100 off MSRP. Read more
Macs’ Superior Enterprise Deployment Cost Eco...
IBM’s debunking of conventional wisdom and popular mythology about the relative cost of using Apple Mac computers as opposed to PCs running Microsoft Windows at the sixth annual Jamf Nation User... Read more
12-inch WiFi Apple iPad Pros on sale for $50-...
B&H Photo has 12″ WiFi Apple iPad Pros on sale for $50-$70 off MSRP, each including free shipping. B&H charges sales tax in NY only: - 12″ Space Gray 32GB WiFi iPad Pro: $749 $50 off MSRP -... Read more
Apple refurbished 12-inch 128GB iPad Pros ava...
Apple has Certified Refurbished 12″ Apple iPad Pros available for up to $160 off the cost of new iPads. An Apple one-year warranty is included with each model, and shipping is free: - 32GB 12″ iPad... Read more
Apple refurbished iPad minis and iPad Air 2s...
Apple recently dropped prices on several Certified Refurbished iPad mini 4s and 2s as well as iPad Air 2s. An Apple one-year warranty is included with each model, and shipping is free: - 16GB iPad... Read more
MacHTTP-js Preview Full-featured Web Server f...
MacHTTP.Org has released MacHTTP-js Preview for macOS, a full-featured Web server for 21st Century desktops and servers. MacHTTP-js is a modern take on the classic stand-alone, desktop computer Web... Read more
Samsung Galaxy Tab A 10.1 with S Pen Makes US...
Samsung Electronics America, Inc. has announced the release of the Galaxy Tab A 10.1 with S Pen in a highly mobile, lightweight tablet. “With an embedded S Pen, consumers can discover more ways to... Read more

Jobs Board

*Apple* Retail - Multiple Positions - Apple,...
Job Description: Sales Specialist - Retail Customer Service and Sales Transform Apple Store visitors into loyal Apple customers. When customers enter the store, Read more
Software Engineering Intern: UI Applications...
Job Summary Apple is currently seeking enthusiastic interns who can work full-time for a minimum of 12-weeks between Fall 2015 and Summer 2016. Our software Read more
Security Data Analyst - *Apple* Information...
…data sources need to be collected to allow Information Security to better protect Apple employees and customers from a wide range of threats.Act as the subject Read more
*Apple* Retail - Multiple Positions - Apple,...
Job Description: Sales Specialist - Retail Customer Service and Sales Transform Apple Store visitors into loyal Apple customers. When customers enter the store, Read more
*Apple* Solutions Consultant - Apple (United...
# Apple Solutions Consultant Job Number: 52812872 Houston, Texas, United States Posted: Oct. 18, 2016 Weekly Hours: 40.00 **Job Summary** As an Apple Solutions Read more
All contents are Copyright 1984-2011 by Xplain Corporation. All rights reserved. Theme designed by Icreon.